7-Eleven Slurpees are now called Squishees
July 8th, 2007
Apparently, until the end of July? What? Just because of The Simpsons movie? ANNOYING. It’s not that I have anything against The Simpsons. I’m just really, really into Slurpees. It’s a matter of vocab. I do not care for this.
While in the midwest, I visited probably 15 different 7-Elevens, happily selecting the Coke or Pepsi flavors for my whole cup… of SLURPEE. But the last store, on Friday, had Mountain Dew AND Coke, or what I like to call The Bifecta. This means I got to crank both flavors out in spurts to create a zebra effect. Not a crazy amount of layers. Six at the most. Anything more than six is overkill, unless you opt for the giant cup.
I was thrilled. This is me being thrilled.
You should see me when I’m ecstatic.
Note that I attach the plastic top before pulling the lever, so that the SLURPEE molds itself into a perfect dome, no hassles. It pisses me off when people don’t know how or just don’t remember to do this. But then I quickly get over it, because other people’s ineptitude ends up making me feel superior, which is always great!
Also, check out what the security cam picked up:
Soooooo embarrassing.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
You’ve really outdone yourself this time. There’s really nothing “squishy” about them is there? I’m more of a Coke/Cherry swirler, but if there’s no Cherry, then it’s definitely all Coke, no nonsense. Finally, I am also outraged by the idoits that don’t attach the dome lid first. It’s seriously a life skill that you pick up as a 4 year old. When I see people do this, I wonder what the F*** they were doing as children. How did they not learn this? I blame the parents and not enough television.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
yeah, it’s a given to attach the dome lid first. evolution at work. also, how do you have security footage? do you work at 7-eleven…?
July 9th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
You used a shopping cart in 7-Eleven (as evidenced in the security photo)?? I love you.
Also, how do you have security footage??
July 9th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
My friend dangled a thing of string cheese in front of the counter guy while I hijacked the footage.
No, we took the photos of each other and I made them black and white. Duh. CRAFTY.
July 10th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
yeah, i thought that was pretty obvious. seriously, [cherry] and blythe, have you ever seen security footage that crisp? don’t you guys ever watch america’s most wanted or some shit with the robbery footage? always blurry.
annie, i’m sorry some of your readers are a little… slower. don’t change a thing.
July 10th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Thank you, *Mr. Shain, for clearing up who’s smart and who isn’t. I also meant to say I’m really impressed that you could reach the Slurpee lever as a 4 year-old.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
very impressive photo work!!
July 10th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
p.s. people need grocery carts in midwest 7-Elevens????
July 11th, 2007 at 12:10 am
but mine was a joke. you know, trying to imply that you worked at 7-eleven. see? funny.
July 11th, 2007 at 11:32 am
I just KNEW you were funny! You are exempt.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:18 am
i went to one too, awesome!
July 14th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
While in boarding school, we used to take special trips to the 7-11 for slushees. I never liked them much but I liked how much my friend liked eating them. Her happiness became my happiness. Thus, your happiness is also my happiness. We’re all happy!