Yes! Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is back. As you may know, I record this sometimes because I love it when the downtrodden homeowners make me cry, usually by crying themselves. I’m fully aware of how embarrassing it is that I watch this show. I don’t care.

Anyway, check out what I noticed last night:

…

While preparing to jump out of a loading dock into the waiting, cupped hands of the high school football team in North Pole, Alaska, Ty’s ass crack was so nasty, so gaping, so egregious that ABC decided to blur it out. Viewers were saved from the horror!

But the high school football team was not. Watch out suckas, Ty is comin’ ATCHA! Look at them, arms outstretched, yearning for the tiniest brush of bare Ty cheek.

“North Pole, Alaska! Are you ready to GRAB! MY! ASS!”

Plus: Aunt Jackie is on Desperate Housewives! I am so back on the train. But only if they’ll let her be funny in the future. So far, no good.

I liked Brothers & Sisters, but had anyone else gotten strangely attached to the adorable dad before the hour was up? What a bummer.

I NEED TO GET A LIFE.