I can’t take my eyes off of this photo of Liza with a z:

This news clipping was posted prominently on TG’s fridge. To people who aren’t into Liza (and that’s who I was until Arrested Development came out on DVD) this may not strike the funnybone. Still, you should give it a go. Just look at her.

She’s doing a high kick.

Supporting herself against a roller coaster car.

Filled by people who don’t care that she’s there and might not even know who she is.

Her lower shin — or gym sock — is showing.

Look at her face.

And now the GO GIRL graphic.

If you aren’t falling somewhere on the spectrum between slightly chuckling and keeling over in your seat dying, I’m not sure I want anything to do with you.

Also in that completely fascinating apartment: an old-school Nintendo box and fabulous games like Anitcipation (which I owned, or maybe stole from one of the babysitters) and one I’d never heard of but should have been playing all my life, called Burgertime.

What is Burgertime? A tad hazy under the influence, we couldn’t figure out how to hook up the system. We honestly gave up a few seconds in, after pulling the TV back and facing two different-colored wires. The red and yellow ones. I know, I don’t deserve to exist.

So I didn’t learn anything about Burgertime. It’s almost better that way. The game was probably some clumsy waiter trying and failing to get everyone their burgers on time… it probably had a bunch of extra elements (like the random egg?!) that made little to no sense. But people getting their burgers on time: this is just the sort of thing I find important. Not record time or anything like that. Just receiving a burger the way you ordered it. It’s a big deal, and if that’s all this game was about — if the service of fast food is seriously the bottom line — then I truly respect its creators for their unique, if seemingly narrow, sense of priority.

Can someone please tell me what Burgertime was really like? I’m desperate to know… and to buy my own copy on eBay and then, oh my god, puh-lay it!

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Audibly Laughing (AL) at this point: After a 0.3-second Google search, I discovered that Burgertime was soooo much less advanced than I gave it credit for. Which almost makes it even more beautiful.

Under “Trivia” it says, “In Japan, most fast food restaraunts offer the option of a fried egg on hamburgers, hence why one of the enemies in the game is an egg.” Mr. Egg, in fact.

I’m dying. If it wasn’t already the friggin’ morning, I’d worry that I’d wake the neighbors up.