I’ve been meaning to get some things off my chest.

–I think I should become a more healthy eater, so I’m turning vegan. No more candy! And thank god no more cheese. Cheese is just nasty, especially when it’s smothered over nachos.

–I wish people would just say what they mean.

–Sometimes, when no one else is around, I find myself thinking that hipsters are cute. They’re so small, and skinny, and colorful. They’re like Colorforms. I loved those things. We intellectual snobsters just have trouble admitting to ourselves that hipsters are the most creative people in this city.

–Why does everyone keep hating on Ryan Seacrest? I think he’s kind of cool. Just a normal guy, trying to get by in a Hollywood that doesn’t give him nearly the attention he deserves. We should stop making fun of him, because who are we? We’re not better than him.

–You people who download music illegally need to stop doing that, because it’s wrong.

–People who watch The Biggest Loser are despicable human beings. It is morally corrupt, and not an amazing amount of fun, to watch obese people swim across Olympic-sized swimming pools while towing their goal weight in gold. This is not even a humorous concept. I am visualizing this activity in my mind, right now, and not even cracking a smile. It’s just wrong. As a sidenote, Caroline Rhea looks super-cute in a plaid, pastel poncho next to multiple bushels of baguettes.

–Uptown Manhattan is awesome. I should hang out there more. So many fun bars, restaurants, and the people! Ah, the people. It’s a rockin’ part of the city.

–McDonald’s has mozzarella sticks now, and I for one think that’s gross. I’ve definitely never ordered them in the two-story branch on W. 44th and 8th Avenue.

–iPods are overrated. I’m not obsessed with mine, and it’s sick if you are with yours. Get a life.

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