I don’t know if it was random timing, an implicit order sent from the O.C. gods, or me being a tool, but the only thing I ate all day was pad thai. I ate my friend Leno’s paltry leftovers from Wednesday night first, around noon. This took like twenty seconds. I ate a few bites of my own generous helping of leftovers at 5. I then went to Rebecca’s and proceeded to order a spicier version of pad thai with chicken AND shrimp. It was really intense and large, so there were leftovers from that too. Then I came home, festered, and generally blanked out in front of my computer screen for seven hours whilst intermittently sneaking bites of all of the remaining pad thai in the apartment. (The bites were mouth-swished with regular Pepsi. For your records.)

Only looking back on this experience one day wiser do I realize that the entire endeavour was sick. Now, 32 hours after the initial ingestion of pad thai (Wednesday night, circa 8 pm) I feel absolutely disgusting. And yet all day and night Thursday, I walked around feeling awesome about getting to eat so much pad thai, and only that. I thought this was not only cool but a quirky little diet plan that just might work! I realize now that it was neither, and that the entire pad thai-like mass in my system is going to probably rebel against me on the way out. Somehow.

Can I not be gross?

No.

The Office was amazing tonight, once again. I’m basically only writing this to weasel my parents into taping it. They claim they have “too many shows going on” in their lives right now, which everyone with a DVR knows is bogus. Start taping it, dudes. Next week.