Yes, that’s me on the right. Get it? I’m as committed as an Olympian, and I also never fall.

Last night’s figure skating long program competition in Torino was the biggest night of the Olympics, even though Survivor and Dancing With the Stars were also on. What was a girl to do? Watch the Olympics from 2-5 a.m. when NBC helpfully replays the primetime events.

The entire thing — during which I proceed to fall in love with roughly all of the skaters… no not joking — is way too long to post here, so here are some excerpts:

2:09 a.m. Silvia’s waiting for her scores now. It was a little insensitive for someone to say “The scores really don’t matter, but here they are.” I’m not sure who that commentator was, but it was probably the one named Dick.

2:28 You expect me to believe 246 Olympic hopefuls work at Home Depot? Nice try.

3:25 “Joannie is a beautiful skater who doesn’t always believe in herself.” That sounds like how you’d introduce two friends who don’t know each other at a party. “This is Annie. Annie is a world-class eater who doesn’t always hold out for dessert.”

4:09 F***! Sasha Cohen fell. This is horrible! F***! She did it again. I’m devastated. “This’ll be a fight to be on the podium now.” Ugh. So she won’t win the gold medal. All the more reason for her to join the cast of The O.C. next season as Seth Cohen’s long-lost twin sister. They’ll meet at college and kind of fall for each other but then realize the only reason they like each other is because like all people, they’re secretly in love with themselves and they just happen to share a lot of the same DNA!

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