I’m glad Fox News finds it necessary to tell everyone in the New York area that they’re shitty parents. This banner, which appears every weeknight right before the news, has always annoyed me, but recently I noticed the product placement that accompanies it. WTF? Is it J&R Computer World that wants to know where your children are? Or is this a non-subtle message that if you don’t know where your children are, check the J&R and if they’re not there, stick around and go shopping, and by the way, you’re shitty parents? Either way, that’s severely effed up.

By the way, couldn’t they have found a nastier, sorrier looking kid than that one? Survey says: No. Oh, and if you don’t find your children right this minute, they will sprout mutant hairstyles as inexplicable as his.

This is really pissing me off. I think the President is somehow behind this, becuase he’s good at inspiring fear in people while making no sense whatsoever. Awww. I’m picturing my own parents watching the news in bed, turning to each other, panic stricken, and saying “No!” in unison. Guys, I’m right here, eating an old bagel and annoying the neighbors with my funky music played at what I consider to be a moderate volume. It’s all good.