First of all, tell me if these earrings are as cool as I think they are right this second. That feathery turquoise thing is… a feather. Knowing me, I will wake up tomorrow and change my mind about them. How’s about you do that for me, or tell me they’re really cute. I don’t care either way. Honesty is encouraged. For your benefit, I did not look at the camera and instead took my own photo while glued to a horribly mediocre episode of Survivor. Only the best for our readers.

Also in Weird Things I Wear news, you can tell I haven’t done laundry in about three months when I end up wearing magenta socks with flowers on them that Dee sent me in a box, likely as a cute “aren’t these funny?” joke. Unless it was an unfunny “aren’t these cute” plea and she was serious. Either way, I find these socks rather humorous and kept laughing at them whilst writing my paper on the schizophrenic nature of Instant Messenger. Some people have requested to read this paper, so I put it online. Do not click unless you are interested. It’s not for everyone. But if you’re addicted to IM or once were, go for it.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you that reading the entire thing will be 20 to 90 minutes you will never, ever get back. Also, “bleeckerbimbo” and “parannieoia” are names I created for the paper. Do not put them on your buddy list. They will never be used again.

One of my paper-writing tactics relates to food. Actually, most of them do, but I thought I’d share one of my favorites. The PB&J-per-page is a very effective technique to use between the hours of 3-8 a.m. The way it works is: I write a page, I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (Sure you got that? It’s one of my more complicated techniques, so read that last sentence over if you need to.) To save time, I make at least four sandwiches at once, like so. Now, even if you never eat PB&J, admit that is a tantalizing photo. Or maybe it’s just me. It usually is.