Hi everyone. It’s Diminishing Returns. The economic principle! No, just kidding, the crappy blog. Annie seems to have dropped off on me due to a lethal combination of supermarket wine and generic Nyquil, so allow me to take the reins for a bit. I’m sure Annie will post some sort of lame-ass New Year’s Resolutiions list within the next few days, so watch THIS! I’m going to preempt that bitch. Also, because she would probably be predictable and do 10, I’m going to list 11.

New Year’s Resolutions for DR:

11. Lose weight, eat right.
10. Feature one review of NYC nachos per week.
9. Focus more on The Issues!
8. Yeah right.
7. Develop better logo. This one is sooo 2004. Actually, more like 1995.
6. Stop sucking.
5. Update automatically, even if Annie is cranky and hungover. Feed Annie bruschetta in bed if that’s the case, then spew out something brilliant. Because I am brilliant. She only wishes.
4. Train vigorously for Sexiest Pathetic 20-something Soul-Searching Blog of 2005, or at least a place in the top ten.
3. The above referred to the blog itself, ME, not Annie. Who are you kidding?
2. Change name from The Anti-Blog to The Annie Blog without warning so that Annie seems extra dorky.
1. Stop being so blatantly a blog.

Contributions welcome! How do you think DR can improve?

Try to come up with something better than “Come on. Go back to the old biweekly features - they were better than this. Really.” because that requires more work and creative energy on Annie’s part and she’s stubborn, although if you pressed hard enough she might give in. Also, do not request “more pictures of hot girls!” because that ain’t happening.

(Note from Annie: Whew! I just woke up. It’s true. I try not to post pictures of myself on here too often. It gets excessive…ly hot.)

What? Annie, shutthefuckup. You know what? I (DR the blog) think my real NYR should be to take over this webspace. Yeah! Sexy, mysteriously anonymous blog trumps dowdy, identity-obvious blogger any day! Come 2005, you’ll have to answer to ME. I like this. It’s a plan.