I love Thanksgiving. Favorite holiday, hands down. It’s a HOLIDAY that is DEDICATED to DINNER. That’s brilliant. Halloween is cool, too, with the candy, but come on. You have to eat dinner before you start eating candy. Usually.

I also love my new Time Warner DVR cable box, but I’m beginning to think it sort of has a crush on me, too. It pampers me so. It’s only supposed to hold 15 hours worth of recordings, but I’m convinced that my list comprises so much more than that.

The show selection process is sort of like a game - or a formal courtship. I sit with my clicker, who’s like the go-between friend in junior high who would go ask your crush if he/she liked you. I scan through the weekday morning schedules and happen upon a gold mine: old episodes of 90210 and Dawson’s Creek and Ellen’s sitcom back when it was good - and feel incredibly guilty for wanting to press the red record button but simply can’t hold back.

When I press “record,” I assume that the love of my life will deny me access for going over the 15-hour limit with an “Are you sure you want to record this program?” message. More likely, it would say something like “Are you fucking kidding? Dawson’s Creek? Pacey failing bio? Annie, come on.”

But then my love grants me the recording, again and again. I swoon, and skip to Tuesday to hunt for more bounty.

But does my love toy with me? Are all those red “recording” slots just a tease, because he’s afraid to tell me there’s actually no more space? Would DVR rather have me convinced I’m getting lucky because he knows I’ll probably never have the sudden urge to watch Wednesday morning’s recording of a 1994 episode of ER?

Oh wait. I just realized that Sex and the City completely beat me to this idea. Remember the one about Miranda and her TiVo and Jules and Mimi? I can’t believe this. She even had TiVo, and I have Time Warner DVR. I’m like the low-class version of Carrie Bradshaw right now, except I’m not giving a fake-pensive look, smoking a cigarette, or wearing a sock for a shirt or whatever the hell else she was known for. That crazy Carrie!

I’ve clearly reached a new low. I can’t delete everything, because I really did think this was an original idea and this way, I’ll have something to show for inexplicably being awake at 4:30 a.m. I think I’ll go take out my frustration on Felicity reruns.