Sometimes I use the Internet at work. Not often, just for research. Like when Rebecca and I send each other links to obscenely expensive bags over Instant Messenger (a newfangled computer program I’ve recently started using).

On the Coach site, there’s a “try this bag on” feature which I originally found rather cute and helpful. But then, for “fun,” I selected the 4′11″-5′4″ height range instead of my own, and was horrified to compare the two resulting diagrams.

Does anyone else think this looks disproportionate? The mini-me short girl might as well be the six-year-old child of the gargantuan taller one. Plus, who the F is 4′11″?

Despite the new law banning photography in the subway, I risked my life and this website’s flailing reputation to snap a shot of this ad for Manhattan Mini Storage:

Okay. Fine. As uncomfortable as the thought of “BURNING YOUR CROTCH!” while riding a crowded subway car is, I tolerate this ad because it includes a large spaghetti dinner. But let’s look closer:

The spaghetti area is the only portion that has literally been peeled away. This means that someone was bored or hungry enough to longingly scrape his or her nails against the poster as if it was scratch-’n'-sniff or something.

I respect the effort (though I personally would have gone for the garlic bread first), but I wonder if finally peeling away the top layer of poster was at all gratifying. To me, that’d just be a huge letdown: No, it’s really not food. You lose. Maybe it would have been better to just wonder and wonder and never find out.