During the winter-layer months, I was actually considering a three-cheeseburgers-a-day diet. I thought it would be a good fit for me because I’d only have to leave the house once, I wouldn’t have to cook anything, and it would be relatively cheap.

Obviously, I’d choose Wendy’s and BK over McDonald’s - I’d have to work out some sort of logical rotation system. I know cheeseburgers are bad for you, but if you JUST ate cheeseburgers and nothing else, who knows? I thought it could work.

This plan was not unlike my brilliant revelation of Fall 2000, the chicken-fruit-dessert diet. The Boston College dining halls and their 35 types of freshly baked muffins were very conducive to this endeavor. This worked for a few days until my roommate Bridget pointed out that I was counting muffins, bread, and eventually even pasta as “dessert.” I remember making a PB&J in the middle of the night and telling myself that since jelly sometimes goes well with or is included in pastry, it was a dessert. The bread and peanut butter were simply required accompaniment.

So that diet was a bust, too. I don’t even recall ever eating any chicken or fruit. Ooh, except for the jelly. That could be considered fruit!

Okay, who has other creative diet ideas? And don’t do that predictable thing people do, like say “Work out more and eat less.” I’m talking about ideas that could actually work.