Hi mom
May 9th, 2004
Happy Mother’s Day to #1 Mawmee Dee Barrett. 
Let’s take a moment to go over some of her most distinguished qualities:
–Looks hot in oversized volleyball t-shirts from the early ’90s.
–Still thinks it’s cool to wear multicolored boxers around the house and even while out shopping, because my friends and I did it during fifth grade softball and Friday Night Fever.
–Knows the difference between Leinenkeugel’s and Dortmunder.
–Memorizes entire guide books to foreign cities (and then quizzes people).
–Encourages me to eat loads of crap (and then asks me if I’ve gained weight).
–Insists on only buying clothing that is “classic and basic.”
–Appreciates Matisse and buys Matisse-esque greeting cards.
–Enjoys Chuckles candy.
–Considers walking on the beach a workout.
–Sends Care Bears videos and Kirschbaum’s cookies.
–Hides Fannie Mae chocolates in secret cabinets around the house and snacks on them like a mouse.
–Refrains from freaking out and asking constantly about the mice in my apartment.
One big “Holla” to Dee!
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