That's
What You Think: The Turquoise Jacket
Published 03.27.01 in The Heights, Boston College
By Annie Barrett
Oh,
you’ve seen the Turquoise Jacket (TJ).
You know, the jacket from the Gap: The one that a quarter of the student
body owns, in their attempts to appear fun-loving, original and zany and
subsequently combat, through brightly-hued felt, their more black/gray/tan-hued
inner feelings throughout the most depressing of seasons.
What’s cool about the TJ is the wide array of self-amusement opportunities
that comes with the possession of such a superlative garment.
When I say “self-amusement,” I refer mostly to different ways
of approaching fellow TJ owners in hopes of sharing in the collective
TJ experience. Isn’t this how you amuse yourself?
Quite often, we see outfit twins roaming the campus. Did you know the
largest concentration of J. Crew catalogs is dispersed throughout Boston
College? That isn’t even an exaggeration; rather, it has to be true
because my roommate told me it was.
So, since the twin trend is inevitable, then why not have fun with it?
I mean, sometimes you just want to make it clear to someone that you’re
wearing the same thing. It’s usually obvious; especially in the
case of the TJ, which can be spotted across the Reservoir. But wouldn’t
a simple, friendly acknowledgement from a complete stranger that you’re
both tops in the clothing arena make anyone happy?
Well, apparently not. After a series of experiments conducted according
to the Scientific Method, fellow TJ owners, as a group, have proven to
have been “not happy” about such encounters. The following
attempts were made.
Tan-Compare/Drawn-Out “Eh?”
Upon seeing a TJO (Turquoise Jacket Owner), some sort of gesture was made
to acknowledge the twin phenomenon. TWYT found the sudden placement of
jacketed arm to jacketed arm, creating an image similar to people comparing
their tans, to work best. If the outfit twin doesn’t notice you,
she’s probably only pretending, so you’ll need to utter something
evoking your intense feelings towards the miraculous realization of identical
clothing.
“Hey” works well, but also popular and a bit more musical
is the “Eh,” emitted in the form of a question. Both outbursts
must be drawn out at least three seconds, but whereas the “Hey”
must start high, then falter, the “Eh” is meant to cover an
entire octave of speech pitch, starting low and reaching a melodic climax
before panning out somewhere in the middle range.
But try this, and you’ll get nothing but a weird, “bad touch”
glare. Believe me.
Simple, Shared Satisfaction
This is probably your best bet. When Simple, Shared Satisfaction is achieved,
the feeling is sublime. More likely, though, your episode will go more
like mine did.
Me: Hey, great jacket.
TJO: (stares, confusedly) Uh. Thanks? Like, duh. It’s embarrassing
enough to be dressed alike. What does she want?
Negativity Rules
This method is for the brave of heart wishing to up the ante of sarcasm
in their twin-outfit approaches. I guess not everyone “gets”
the joke, though.
Me: “Ew! Your coat is so nasty! How can you leave the house like
this?”
TJO: “Oh … I’m sorry.” Does she go here? How
did she get in? I’m pretty sure she’s wearing the same jacket.
This marked the low point of the TJ Episodes.
If you think about it, this whole ordeal would have made sense for any
article of clothing and not necessarily the TJ. But a TJ tribute had to
be made just because it’s so great. Could I be any more promotional?
Fall into the Gap, everyone. Apparently.
TWYT encourages its audience to create their own twin outfit approaches,
since none of the above approaches really work.
Next TWYT: The Condemnable Condiment
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