That's
What You Think: Eating Awareness Month
Published 02.13.01 in The Heights, Boston College
By Annie Barrett
It has come
to my attention that February is Eating Awareness Month at Boston College
(and maybe even beyond Boston College, but I can't see outside the bubble).
Which is good, because my efforts to become more “aware” of
my “eating” have triggered an important and startling realization.
I eat a hell of a lot.
Yeah, right. All girls say that.
No, you don’t understand; I’m talking a lot. Mucho. Excessive
amounts. A plethora. Bags, basins, barrels, bowls. Just a lot, okay?
I used to insist, “I’m a growing girl,” as an excuse
for my gluttonous behavior, but I’m at the point where the only
growing I have left to do would inevitably occur in a rather undesired
direction.
I just really love food. If you placed an adult-sized chocolate statue
next to one of my better-liked family members or good friends and demanded
that I choose, I admit I would have trouble deciding.
On a recent Friday, after having spent around five hours lying motionlessly
on my bed, I received word via telephone that a certain sweet suite of
winners had collectively brought me back a piece of cheesecake from the
illustrious Lower Dining Facility, or what I endearingly refer to as “Lowa
Live.” Unfortunately, the cheesecake bearers lived two floors below.
“Hey, we brought you back some cheesecake!” Now let me
burn your CD collection.
“Is there anything on it?” Like a large dollop of fudge?
“Uh, a strawberry.” Who does she think she is?
That’s better than nothing. “Yeah, OK!” Oh…
does this mean I have to move?
That’s disgusting. It took a soggy, bland chunk of fat (eaten without
silverware, I should add) to lure my sorry self away from what would have
turned out to be an endless recline.
Think about that for a while.
And now you, too, have been made brutally “aware” of “eating.”
Hey, I’m just following the rules. It’s February, after all.
In the spirit of awareness, I feel I should inform everyone that the soda
fountain on the left in Carney’s releases Coke from the Diet Coke
dispenser (as a born-and-bred Midwesterner, I wanted to write “pop,”
but I get ridiculed 20-fold whenever I use this “wicked” cool
term). This fun fact is useful to those like me who are sick of sacrificing
the pleasure of The Real Thing for its (much) lesser counterpart.
Obviously, one of the dumbest things to do if you’re at all concerned
with health is drink regular soda. Again, I am well “aware”
of this.
I’m also very well “aware” that diet soda is, to put
it nicely, wretched. Even so, I do drink it most of the time, mostly because
of society and the fact that, in terms of beverage selection, I’m
just one giant sellout.
But in light of the above discovery, I can now convince myself daily that
since I’m pushing the Diet Coke lever, I am in fact choosing Diet
Coke, even if I’m smirking slyly while I do so. Then I can act shocked
when I take that first glorious sip and exclaim, convincingly, “Oh,
my God! This isn’t diet!”
I really hope Dining Services doesn’t catch this glitch anytime
soon, since the mistake has added some spark (or it could just be caffeine)
back into my life. Leave the machine that way, if only to humor me. Please.
To continue with the “aware” theme, I have a feeling that
the present overlap of Eating Awareness Month and the Munch exhibit at
McMullen is completely intentional. I mean, come on. Munch? That big sign
bearing the enormous “Munch” catches my attention every day,
but only until I realize the exhibit, in reality, involves no food. At
that point, I just divert my path and enter The Rat for some real munchies.
I just thought you guys should know. They just have art there. Not even
any refreshments. Total downer.
In other news, I receive almost daily comments regarding one of my most
defining physical characteristics: The “Real Women Eat Food”
button on my backpack.
Everyone: Look to this pin, as Seinfeld would have Elaine look to the
cookie, for all the answers.
Actually, the cookie might work here, too. You decide.
But let’s admit it: Some individuals on this campus just don’t
adhere to the above mantra. And so I advise those who are about to hand
over big boxes of chocolate to their Valentines to think for a moment
and make sure your high-caloric efforts won’t be going to waste.
You may want to consider a different type of gift, like a big salad with
low-fat dressing, easy on the croutons.
Of course, if you’ve already bought the treats, don’t throw
them away. Either eat them yourself or leave them at my door. I’ll
take good care of them. Besides, wouldn’t you rather have a Real
Woman as your Valentine?
So, after all that, do you feel more “aware” of “eating”?
Uh, yes. Painfully.
Just doing my job. So throughout February, it couldn’t hurt for
you to occasionally look down at your plate and exclaim a resounding,
“Look! I’m eating!”
You know, just so you and those surrounding you can continue to be aware
that eating occurs.
Happy February,
everyone.
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