That's What You Think: CD Burning

Published 01.23.01 in The Heights, Boston College


By Annie Barrett

I’d like to begin with a shout-out to the chocolate “I can’t believe it’s only 165 grams of fat!” chunk muffins in McElroy. Thanks for making my day, every day. We now pause for some breaking news.

BREAKING NEWS: A January 22, 2000 national Reuters poll reports that “How are your classes going?” has edged out “How was your break?” in the competitive category of Most Common Boring Conversation Starter. This means people who couldn’t care less will be showing rather unconvincing concern that you’re okay with your academic schedule. We here at TWYT, looking out for you as usual, just want you to be prepared.

That warning aside, let’s focus on this week’s issue: the CD-RW drive and those who own such a drive. Better known as a “burner,” the CD-RW, upon its discovery, can exponentially increase its owner’s popularity, power and general image.

The possession of a CD burner can even be a saving grace in some cases. It sure saved “that kid” in the following example.

“Dude, that kid’s getting so annoying.”

“Yeah, totally… but you know, he’s got that burner.”

“True. My bad.”

Conversations like the above, though, are becoming less frequent as the novelty of the burner wears off and the student body becomes less materialistic.

Wait …

Yeah, we better just go with that thing about the novelty wearing off.

Those who burn (hey, that would sound funny in a slow, spooky voice, followed by “in hell”) know the tantalizing effect the offer to burn something can have on other people, even if such an offer is entirely false. A burning fiend myself, I probably throw out bogus burning offers five to seven times per week, usually on Tuesday afternoons to visitors in my room as they react favorably to The Sound of Annie.

Visitor: This song is great! I want it, I want it. You have the coolest music. Come on! I’m not blind. I can see your burner.

Annie: Yeah, I have the coolest music. Oh, you like the Moody Blues? You’ve never heard of them and you know it. I can burn this for you, no problem. I bet she believes me! LOL.

Shameless, I know. But you’d be amazed at the number of people who walk away thinking I’m both genuine and generous. Suckers.

Those who burn, constantly plagued with requests, find it almost impossible to deny their services no matter how much they grow to detest humanity. Let’s note the progression.

“Hey, can you burn that for me?”

“Yeah, sure.” Don’t make this a habit.

And then…

“Is this the new album? Can you burn that for me?”

“Uh …” No. NO! “I guess.” Like I spent $20 so you could get it for free! Jerk. That’s it. Next time I’m getting nasty.

Next time…

“Hey, can you burn that for me?”

“Umm…” Just say no. Do it. “Okay, but would you mind giving me about $1.79 to cover the cost of the blank CD?” WHAT? That completely failed.

Oh, but it gets worse…

“Hey, can you burn that for me?”

“FINE!” Now everyone has my music! I’ve lost my sense of self! DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW ME?


The burner-owning victim in the above example is experiencing a sensation common to all CD-RW owners. His or her musicality (which has to be a word) is being brutally stripped from its source and spread around, much like peanut butter or VD.

Call it what you will: Your sound, your groove, your funk, your beat. Chances are that if you pride yourself in your Caselogic’s contents, you have put much of your long lives’ work into the establishment of “your sound.”

So who do people think they are – intercepting this sound and passing it off as their own? This is where the burner becomes more like a burden. You know, words can be so much fun.

Well, it’s your own fault. You bought the stupid machine. But we at TWYT are not here to scold, although we just did. Rather, as mentioned before, we’re here to help. In that spirit, we present:

TIPS FOR REMAINING MASTERS OF YOUR SOUND:

1. Don’t burn CDs for other people.

2. Don’t let other people burn your CDs.

Of course, as has just been proven, these tips are ridiculously idealistic and cannot be followed. In fact, they should not have even been printed.

Realistically, the minute people realize you have a burner, you start working for them (even though it should be the other way around). As a general rule: you buy, you burn. With this inevitability in mind, TWYT presents:

TIPS FOR MAINTAINING A SHRED OF YOUR SOUND:

1. When burning, insert a vocal recording in between each track. For example: “The previous tune, as well as the following one, were carefully chosen by [Your name]. [Friend’s name] lacks in musicality and had absolutely nothing to do with this first-rate mix.”

See? You showed them!

2. Hide your burner, or cover it with an inconspicuous object, such as a lackluster hand towel or a sign reading, “Definitely not a burner under this sign.”

3. Create a “Reservations” sign-up sheet showing the first available “date of burn” as March 12, 2005. Explain, “I’m all backed up until then.” When people are around, appear to burn up a storm but really just use the same CD.

TWYT hopes these suggestions help, but won’t be at all phased if they make things worse.

By the way, if anyone needs any Moody Blues albums burned, just let me know. Ha!

Next TWYT: Snood, dude.